Great business idea

With the US Treasury issuing new $10 bills today I offered to take some folks old $10s and swap them for new $10s for a small, 1% fee.  You never know, someone might say yes then that’s a little extra change in the pocket.

 

But that got me thinking…

What about starting a “Currency Authentication Service”?  You give me your cash and for a small fee, I’ll certify that it’s not counterfeit and replace any bills that are.  It’s cheaper than going to jail for inadvertently trying to pass some phony money at some quickie mart.  I could set up a website.  The “customers” would just fill out an order request, I’d ship the packing bags, you fill and seal the bags, include a check, and in a couple of days your certified authentic currency will be in a UPS box coming back to you 100% free of any counterfeit bills with a detailed explanation of any counterfeit bills found in the lot.  I’ll even include a certificate of authenticity!

 

How much is avoiding a stay in a “Federal Ass Ramming Prison” worth to you?  5% of your cash?  25%?  Try a measly 2% (plus shipping and handling).  You send me $500 and it’ll only cost you $10 (plus shipping and handling) to authenticate your bills so that you can avoid jail.  What a fabulous deal!

But be warned, if you’re trying to launder counterfeit money through the Ajax Currency Authentication Corporation we will call the feds and you will go to Federal Ass Ramming Prison.  Ajax is not a money launderer; it is an Authentication Service only.

 

The best part is that it’s perfectly legal.  There is nothing illegal about separating a fool from his money.  Unethical?  Sure.  Preying on ignorance and fear?  Yea.  But illegal?  Not hardly.  Why should we leave all the fun to the feds and credit card companies?

Plus if you’re dumb enough to be a counterfeiter in the first place, you’re likely dumb enough to try and pull one over on someone who’s clearly preying on idiots, so you’re very likely to go to jail and I’m very likely to collect the reward for putting you there.  It’s a win-win!

 

I should get started on this right away.  I’m sure there are plenty of suckers—er, customers—out there who are just waiting to make me rich.