Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Training update and the strangest conversation I've ever heard

I have begun laying the foundation for training.

Sit-ups and push-ups along with a foundation of weights is where it begins.  I’m tracking my “sleep” (sleep takes on new meanings with a new baby), diet, and weight.  Tomorrow, Mel takes the “before” picture and the intense training (I train like I camp… in tents, yuk yuk) begins over the weekend.  According to last night’s blogroll I’m starting about 10 miles behind where I should be.  Long runs for this weekend look like they’re consistently 10 miles.  Mine will be roughly 0 miles.  However, I may do something crazy next weekend.


Also, I said that when the magic number exceeds the number of games remaining the team is out of contention.  That’s not completely true.  When the magic number exceeds the number of games remaining for both them and the category leader (division or wildcard), then that team is out of contention.  The Astros’ magic number is 8 as of this morning, but there are 12 total games (6 for the ‘stros, 5 for the Cards, plus the 1 unscheduled make-up game).  If the Cards win 5 before the Astros play another game, then the ‘stros are out of it (7 is less than 8).  God I love baseball.



Ok. The strangest conversation I’ve ever heard happened yesterday during lunch.*


*Disclaimer:  It may not be the strangest conversation I’ve EVER heard, but it’s the strangest convo in recent memory.


A paraphrase, of sorts:


Ok, so the first guy says to the other guy “Do you think it’d be better for your mistress to be a friend of your wife, or a complete stranger?”

Second guy “Huh?”

“Should your mistress be a complete stranger to your wife, or should they be best friends?  You know, shopping buddies, hair dresser, nail salon, walks in the park and all that.”

“Wouldn’t you be afraid the one might tell the other that you’re, you know, boning her?  The whole idea of having a secret affair is that it remains a secret.  Otherwise it’s just an open marriage in the free love 60s.  Who wants that?”

Silent pause…

Guy 1:  “Anyway, that’s my point.  Eventually you’re going to break up with one of them—either you wife or your girlfriend.  If your girlfriend is your wife’s friend, then there’s less of a chance she’ll spill the beans because they ‘care for each other’s feelings’ and all that crap.  You know how girls are.  They’re all sensitive to each other and wouldn’t want to say something that would hurt the other’s feelings, especially if that something is ‘I was screwing your husband and he just broke up with me’ because that would mean that she just lost her boyfriend AND girlfriend.  If it’s just some chick you picked up in a bar or met at work, then if things go sour—and they will go sour—you have all the weird moments where she boils your kid’s rabbit and takes a crowbar to your car or calls up and tells your wife what was going on just to screw you over and then you have to explain why some crazy bimbo is trying to ruin your life and you end up losing your wife, girlfriend, and half of everything, not to mention child support, respect, and all the other stuff that comes to a guy who picks up some bimbo in a bar.”

“Seems you’ve thought all this through.  Which one of your wife’s friends are you in to?”




That’s when I almost choked on my drink and promptly stopped listening and went on with my business.


Blogger Vic said...

Believe the Bzzzzzzz!

1:55 PM  
Blogger said...

We all lead such boring lives!

3:09 PM  

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