Tuesday, August 29, 2006

What the hell was she thinking?

Ok, so I passed this lady in the mall today (I eat lunch in the mall occasionally, I wasn’t shopping).

I’m going to try and be nice…

I passed this lady and thought to myself, “Poor girl, she paid for that hair style.”

The thing is, it looked like a very expensive style, it was just ugly as homegrown sin.  I mean, it wasn’t even fashionably ugly.

You know what I mean, when you see people with hair that it looks like they just woke up but you know good and well that they spent $50 or $75 to have someone style it so that it would look like they just woke up because it’s not quite as randomly mussed as if they really just woke up, it’s more precisely placed in a pattern that would give the impression that these people just woke up.

 

That’s fashionably ugly.

 

This poor lady’s hair looked like it was … um… like she had her hand on one of those silver balls that makes electricity.  Except it wasn’t that cool.

It was almost like there was a balloon underneath a layer of her hair… or a helmet with a wig on top of it.  Or as if she was wearing a shaggy lampshade.  It was just disturbingly horrid.

It was one of those hair styles where you say “Yea, it’s perfect, it takes all the attention away from your giant ass, hobo clothes, and terrible body odor.  You stepped in dog crap and wet yourself, too, but thankfully nobody will notice because of your hair.” 

Seriously, it was shameful.

And the next time someone asks me “Does this dress look ok on me” I’m going to say “yea, it takes all the attention away from your terrible body odor, horrid hair style, and the fact that you stepped in dog crap.” or “yea, it makes your giant ass look perfectly normal.”  That’ll get me out of having to answer that question ever again (or ever having to have sex again, for that matter).

 

As I was leaving the mall to walk back to the office I saw someone running around the block where the Waterwall in the Galleria is located.  I felt good that I at least wanted to have the energy to consider running… and that my hair didn’t look as bad as that lady’s.

How exhausted do you have to be to want to have the energy to even consider doing something that you hate?  Wow.

 

I still haven’t ruled out the possibility of stumbling through a marathon this year, or maybe a half marathon.  Energy and the calendar will work with me on that one.

2 Comments:

Blogger Kay Richardson said...

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Vic said...

Love your rants, Joe.

11:45 AM  

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