Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Experiment--The Palin Effect

Ok, let’s not be under any illusions—Sarah Palin is attractive.  Some would even say she’s hot.


It is what it is.


That’s not to discount the fact that she is smart, articulate, the governor of Alaska, was elected mayor of Wasilia, has policy and regulatory experience, stands firm on principles, and blah blah blah…  The political atmosphere in Alaska, I suspect, is a little more freewheeling that what you’d have in the federal government, or even Texas, for that matter, and I think she’ll either shake things up for a while—to the extent she interacts with the legislative branch—or be completely ineffective should McCain be elected.  Either way, the effect on the Hill will be very temporary.


Again, it is what it is.


But the former, less so than the latter, brings up an interesting notion that I’m going to now call the Palin effect, which is, put simply:  Dudes are stupid and will do ANYTHING a pretty girl asks them to do, within reason.


As examples, I submit just about every season of Survivor and Big Brother.  Who gets kicked off first (generally)?  Dudes and ugly people.  Who are left at the end?  2 chicks in bikinis, all 4 of their boobs, and a couple of idiot guys who are both trying to maneuver so that the other gets kicked off and he can be left alone with 2 chicks, 4 boobs, and absolutely no chance at getting laid.

I also submit strippers, who will get naked and generally will not have sex with you, all so that you can give them money to “help pay for college”.  Yea, right.  Additionally, the more they won’t have sex with you, the more money you give them.  Very clever, guys.

Exhibit 3 is Hooters Waitresses.  They won’t even get naked, but they’ll tell you that you’re cute, clever, and totally the most interesting person they know just so that you will give them money in exchange for food and no sex.

Finally, I submit to the court of public opinion that hot blonde school teacher who repeatedly got with the high school football player.  She got a slap on the wrist while the gnarly teacher who got with that high school dude and got knocked up—twice—had the freaking book thrown at her—and her kid taken away.  And then there’s the parade of guys who don’t even get with the chicks who pose as little kids who get completely run through with the swords of justice and pubic opinion.  The hot one says “I’m sorry, and besides I’m the victim here” the others get tossed under the jail.


To test the experiment, I encourage any hot chicks to come over to my house and…  just kidding.

To test the experiment, I believe I’m going to attempt to get two guys to kiss by simply asking them to do it (expected response:  no), and then telling them that my hot “girlfriend” (actually, lab assistant for this particular experiment) gets totally turned on by watching guys kiss to see if the response changes from “no” to “yes”.  No reward or expectation of real gratification, only the knowledge that they’d be turning on some random, anonymous hottie—who won’t be having sex with either of them.


My bet is that the response changes from “no” to “yes” more often than not.  Because guys are stupid and will do just about anything a hot chick asks them to do.


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