Wednesday, October 10, 2007

"Relax"

There are (at least) 2 very stupid things to say:

  1. Have a nice day
  2. Relax

 

1.  Really, do you think the person you’re saying that to was not planning on having a nice day?  I mean, do you think you gave him an idea he didn’t already have?  “You know, I was planning on having a crappy, horrid evening, maybe including a ticket and a wreck, but now that you mention it I just might have a nice day instead.  Thanks for the tip.”  It’s not rocket science.  People generally don’t plan on crappy days, so you’re simply telling them effectively the same thing as “eat something” or “breathe” or “wake up after you go to bed and sleep awhile”.  Really… I mean… sigh.  “I hope you have a nice day”, on the other hand, is different.  You’re confiding in them that you hope good things come to then, rather then just prattling off that the sky is blue.  Think about it.

 

2.  Relax?  Really?  You want me to relax?  My blood pressure is high, I’m stressing over 1000 different things, I’ve pulled a muscle in my back and I’m making it worse by carrying tension and I need to RELAX?  Why don’t you come over here and let me punch you?  How the hell do you expect me to relax after you’ve just told me my blood pressure is high and my tension has caused a freaking back injury and the longer I carry that tension the longer and worse my back will hurt?!?  I HAVE A FREAKING TEST TONIGHT!!!  I DON’T HAVE TIME TO REL…. ow… ow… my back… breathe…  breathe…  breathe… slowly… breathe…

 

So, I need to relax, huh?  Ya think?  Maybe a little?

 

Thanks.  Maybe I’ll heed that advice.  If you don’t think of “pink”.

 

Have a nice day.

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