Friday, January 23, 2009

Here's an idea for Gitmo detainees

Ok, the long overdue closure of the Guantanamo Bay detention facility is upon us.  The problem that has lingered still lingers:  what to do with these turds.  They’re not, technically, prisoners of war.  They’re not, technically, foreign nationals.  They’re not, technically criminals (wanting to do bad things to the US isn’t, as far as I know, criminal, only ACTUALLY doing bad things, but that’s another conversation).


Their home countries don’t want them.  They wouldn’t live very long in our general prison population and we wouldn’t want them to live long enough to make our run of the mill criminals into deadly domestic terrorists (because, you know, that’s what would happen, I suppose).


So, here’s my idea.  Bring them to the front gates of Gitmo, give them $50 and a carton of smokes, and tell them they’re free to go.  Just let them go.  Give them to Cuba.  Sayonara, auf frietesen, and good bye.


Of course, they’d still have to navigate the extremely heavily mined corridor between the naval base and open Cuban fields.  And then they’d have to explain why they’re in Cuba—in Spanish, even though most don’t espeaka dat language.  But, hey, they’d be Cuba’s problem then.  And that way everyone wins!


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