Monday, July 02, 2007

Horrid weekend for running

Rained all weekend.  Yuck.

Did get a break long enough to swim.  That was nice.  No running, though.  That was nice, too.  Worked out like a fiend, too.  Weird how some exercises are much MUCH harder than they look.  Take the “flatboard” as an example.  You hold yourself flat with only your elbows and toes touching the ground for at least 20 seconds at a stretch—3 times—lengthening each set so that the final set is longer than the first set.  Simple, right?  That’s what I thought.  The natural tendency is to let the waist droop toward the ground OR the butt tent up into the air.  The goal is to strengthen both the back and front at the same time.  The result is this crazy shuddering as the muscles start to do things you haven’t asked them to do, pretty much ever.

 

And crazy sore sides the next day.  That happens, too.

 

Plus I’ve discovered the joys of World of Warcraft.  That sucking sound was all time being consumed by my computer.

 

In other news it seems we’ve killed or captured all of the smart terrorists.  I get the car bombs in the middle of London.  That would be deadly and destructive enough with the likelihood of killing and/or disrupting traffic and commerce.

 

But ramming an airport?

 

With a car?

 

Then lighting yourself on fire?

 

In Glasgow?

 

You’ve got to be kidding me.  Seriously?  You think that was, like, even close to being problematic?  You created a traffic jam.  You suck just about as much as the dumbass on Highway 290 here in town who is trying to exit on Mangum from the far left hand lane and has come to a full stop with his right hand blinker on waiting for the rest of the freeway to come to a full stop so that he can cross 5 lanes.  You, Mr. Terrorist, are that guy.

 

What’s the encore?  Are you going to go to the emergency room with just a head cold so that you can hold up the line for people who really need help?

 

What about going to the grocery store and paying with inexact change?

 

Maybe try to make a return without the receipt?

 

You’ve gone from explosions and attacks on a grand scale to creating traffic jams.  You people suck and are beginning to suck even more.  You’re like the new version of the 1980’s British punk rockers.  “YEA, SREW DEE AYSTABLISHMEN, MAN!  I’M GONNA TAKE DIS EARRIN AN PU IT IN MY NOSE!!”  You’re just a bunch of doofuses running around making traffic.  Quit it.  You’re not funny and nobody cares.

 

And no, I’m not afraid of you.  Because as you’re sitting there screaming “Allah huakbar!” and smashing your face into my fist again and again trying to make me succumb to your “bloody nose attack” and bleed all over me until I surrender my rights and freedom to your stupid ideotheology, I’m going to be patiently waiting for the police to pull me off of you and throw you in federal ass-pounding, got not rights, wear this black bag over your head jail and put these electrodes on your testicles while these dogs bark at you jail.  Then I’m going to go grab a big fat double cheese burger and eat it on the observation deck of the tallest building in the city because, by God, I’m not afraid of you at all.

 

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