Stuff that stinks

Ok, so I work across the street from the Galleria.  I walk to the food court for lunch occasionally.

 

There’s a kiosk near the Victoria Secret that sells herbal stuff for aroma therapy and stuff like that.

 

I know I’m not the authority on that stuff, but it straight up smells like ass.  It absolutely reeks.  It’s been a little over an hour and that foul stench is still lingering in my nostrils.  The chick (with an accent) come up to me and puts one of those foul things on my shoulder and asks if she can ask me a question.  Me being the smart ass I am says “you can probably ask me a question in 2 languages, but I have to go eat lunch”.  Stupid, stupid, joe.  She slides between me and the stairs and starts talking.  I’m trapped.

 

I extract myself from the situation rather gracefully, but not before she shoves a lavender eye cover (smells like lavender ass) under my nose, a mint something or other (smells like mint ass) under my nose, and some herbal slippers (smells like herbal feet and ass) under my nose.  “Just heat them up and they release their aromas”.

 

Why the hell would I want to subject myself to that?  No.  Thanks.  They make me gag. 

 

I’d rather run.

 

In the rain.

 

Unfortunately, my lovely wife likes that kind of stuff.  In moderation I can tolerate it.  But quite frankly, I’d rather my shoes smell like shoes than peppermint.  Besides, if they smell like food I know a certain beagle that would love to eat them just to prove they’re not food.